I’m going through probably one of the strangest times of my life. There are so many different aspects to this time that I honestly don’t even know where to start. Some things are more tangible. They are things that can easily be changed and traded for better situations, while other things are more feeling-related and may be left in the depths of my subconscious, unable to reach. The days prove to be more difficult than the nights. Because my job has a feast or famine pattern and am currently in a famine phase, I have too much time to ponder where I am, where I’m going, and why I’m not there yet. Sometimes it feels like I have way too much on my plate, while other times I feel like I don’t have enough. I have so much desire to be out there, serving the underprivileged people of our country, yet I can’t just yet. I’m not there yet. When I put my mind to something, I want it then and there. I become immediately impatient, eager to move onto the next step. A close friend of mine has said to me many times in the past year, “you always want something that you’re not ready for.” And by golly, he’s absolutely right! (I just totally had one of those *as I’m writing I have an epiphany* moments.)
But damn it, the rain is not helping! I need as much sunlight as I can get these days. My emotions are far too easily swayed by weather conditions!
Artwork: Clair Hartmann