My exes are officially starting to get married.
It's definitely a little weird to be the one that's probably not going to be married for a while, if it all. When I was 17, I thought I would be married like my mom at age 20. I was 17/18, of course, young and naive. But it wasn't until the last year and a half or two that I started to realize that marriage may not happen to me as young as the rest of my fellow Christian friends, or at all. Life has thrown me a lot of difficult obstacles, and with those obstacles came a lot of growth. And with that growth came the realization that marriage is indeed life-long, and that I might not be as prepared for it as I wished when I was watching Disney princess movies.
My first love is engaged, which is not surprising at all. He always wanted to get married young, and ended up moving across the country for her. Whom I refer to as my first "adult relationship" is now married, which is probably the weirdest to me even though he was a decent amount older than I. I just don't see the maturity level in that one… ANYWAYS.
The problem I always had was the lack of respect in those two major relationships. My first love cheated on me and I was young and up until maybe two years ago, there was a part of me that was stuck on him and would have taken him back. Very sad. Very pathetic. I think it's probably the one thing I regret about my past, and also the reason why there was a major lack of respect on his part. The other man that I loved viewed me as a child. When we broke up he told me that I should date someone my own age. I was 20 and he was 26. "Em, stick with guys your own age. I'm sorry I'm not going to marry you." Not really sure what that had to do with breaking up with me, but as my dad says...
He was such a douche bag. (Thanks for the back-up, dad. Ha!)
I'm not really sure what I expected though at this age. Did I think it was all going to stay the same? Did I think that we were all going to just continue dating until the end of time?
photos by Michael E. Dennis
Necklace: Gifted from Bobbles & Lace
Blouse: J.Crew Sale
Belt: J.Crew Sale
Trousers: J.Crew Sale
No… But I guess I wasn't really expecting at so soon. It's bizarre going onto Facebook and everyone's status updates are wedding photos and baby photos… I mean, I've got a baby bug just like any other girl in their twenties, but I'm definitely not having one anytime before I'm thirty! I'm too selfish!
Are any of you experiencing this? Thoughts?