Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Style de Haviland: Exes & Mawwiage

My exes are officially starting to get married. 

It's definitely a little weird to be the one that's probably not going to be married for a while, if it all. When I was 17, I thought I would be married like my mom at age 20. I was 17/18, of course, young and naive. But it wasn't until the last year and a half or two that I started to realize that marriage may not happen to me as young as the rest of my fellow Christian friends, or at all. Life has thrown me a lot of difficult obstacles, and with those obstacles came a lot of growth. And with that growth came the realization that marriage is indeed life-long, and that I might not be as prepared for it as I wished when I was watching Disney princess movies. 

My first love is engaged, which is not surprising at all. He always wanted to get married young, and ended up moving across the country for her. Whom I refer to as my first "adult relationship" is now married, which is probably the weirdest to me even though he was a decent amount older than I. I just don't see the maturity level in that one… ANYWAYS. 

The problem I always had was the lack of respect in those two major relationships. My first love cheated on me and I was young and up until maybe two years ago, there was a part of me that was stuck on him and would have taken him back. Very sad. Very pathetic. I think it's probably the one thing I regret about my past, and also the reason why there was a major lack of respect on his part. The other man that I loved viewed me as a child. When we broke up he told me that I should date someone my own age. I was 20 and he was 26. "Em, stick with guys your own age. I'm sorry I'm not going to marry you." Not really sure what that had to do with breaking up with me, but as my dad says...

He was such a douche bag. (Thanks for the back-up, dad. Ha!)

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I'm not really sure what I expected though at this age. Did I think it was all going to stay the same? Did I think that we were all going to just continue dating until the end of time? 

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photos by Michael E. Dennis

Necklace: Gifted from Bobbles & Lace 

Blouse: J.Crew Sale 

Belt: J.Crew Sale

Trousers: J.Crew Sale

Sandals: Clarks

No… But I guess I wasn't really expecting at so soon. It's bizarre going onto Facebook and everyone's status updates are wedding photos and baby photos… I mean, I've got a baby bug just like any other girl in their twenties, but I'm definitely not having one anytime before I'm thirty! I'm too selfish! 

Are any of you experiencing this? Thoughts? 


Jenelle said...

That belt is super fun!!
And I am in the same boat..everyones getting married...must be a new trend lol!


JanM ♥ said...

It might be that my ex is thinking this about me. Well, I was actually clicking and surfing on Instagram the other day and I saw a picture in my ex's room and saw that he still had my old stereo we used when we would hang out in my apartment in college. I found that funny because I realized I left him a bunch of stuff when I left. I knew I was his first true love and he was mine but like they say, proximity is really important in relationships! Did I just blab? Yes I did! ;) Have a good week!


Sarah said...

Emily! I saw your comment on my blog the other deal about mormon bloggers and wanted to answer your questions since nobody else has. I have no idea why there are so many mormons with blogs to be totally honest. It might have something to do with the fact that family and keeping of record of family is really important to us. So maybe blogging is a form of that for a lot of mormons. For me I don't blog because I'm mormon. I blog because I love telling stories, wearing fun clothes, and sharing my life with others. I guess its just a benefit to me that others can see that mormons are totally normal fun people. Anyways, hope that answers your questions!

Blytheponytailparades said...

I COMPLETELY understand this. It's popular with all these Christians running around getting married to "avoid temptation". They all get married WAY too young and end up struggling financially. I was one of the last ones and that was GREAT by me. It gave me time to be myself as an adult for a while. I was able to find a good job, finish school and be myself. Single time as an adult is so sweet too. There's good and bad to both, but I know that when it finally happened for me, it was when I least expected it and "stopped trying". God is funny like that ;)

Tam Hess said...

Just found your blog! Yay for me...it's awsome! Just remember to look at all the things in your past as stepping stones and learning experiences. NEVER look at them as mistakes or lost chances. Work on making yourself happy and owning your ideas and thoughts. They are good! You are awesome :) Hugs!


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