Monday, October 28, 2013

Film Review: Carrie (2013)

I don't know if it's just me or if anyone else felt slightly inclined to see this, but I'm a bit sorry I did. (I was with fabulous company though, so that helped!) The new one starred the young (and very pretty) Chloe Grace Moretz as Carrie and Julianne Moore as Carrie's mother. I pumped myself up the couple days before I knew I was going to see it. It was all in the excitement of the idea I suppose, because Julianne Moore is awesome. BUT… I just wasn't impressed. I mean, yeah, she was good, she looked the part, but I needed more! I wanted more from you, Moore! (The cutting was a nice modern touch, though! Bravo on that!) And I mean, guys, Chloe whatsherface is way too pretty for this part. I mean, she's too "pretty." Sissy Spacek was beautiful, but in her own way. She's so different looking, ya know? To some I'm sure she's unattractive? But just splatter some blood on her and crazy eyes just makes a sister look freakin' bat-shit cray! 

Ugh… I just used the word "cray"………..


ANYWHO, something I did like is how the screenwriters integrated modern technology into the whole plot. I liked the pig's blood and how it was dark and strategically placed in a really cool way. I thought Chloe played Carrie well, but I really thought she only played Carrie well in the gymnasium scene. Carrie's character was really sweet, but I don't know… the way Chloe played "sweet" was so not Carrie to me. She wasn't almost "creepy" even though she was sweet. I thought the end was interesting, I guess… Now, the kid who played Tommy was really stupid. I'm sorry, but he just looked like Taylor whatshisname from Twilight and talked funny. The chick who played Chris looked like an ugly version of Emma Stone, and nobody wants that?!… Okay, I'm bashing now, I'll stop! I don't know these people personally, I'm sure they're all great people! I thought they did't take into consideration that in today's society a teacher wouldn't slap a student in the face or they would've gotten fired most likely. And (spoiler alert?) the script was almost verbatim for the entire way except for the beginning and the end. 

I just don't know why they had to ruin such a great flick. The 1974 version was just kick-ass, with a kick-ass soundtrack and a kick-ass cast. It's like making a remake of "The Shining." Just unnecessary and completely avoidable. 

Don't waste your money, but see it on DVD if you want, because I know you horror-film lovers secretly want to. 

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