Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Thoughts on Valentine’s Day {Part IV- Post Tony/Ex-Mike}

I know that Valentine’s Day was two weeks ago, but its still February, and I still have a little bit to share about my past romances.

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If you missed out on this little series, see below:

Thoughts on Valentine’s Day {Part I- Intro}

Thoughts on Valentine’s Day {Part II- My First Love}

Thoughts on Valentine’s Day {Part III- Kind of}

To clear things up a little bit, this is more of a continuation of Part II. I’m going to share with you what happened after I dated Tony…

So Tony and I broke up. I was a mess. Literally. For over a year. It rocked my world at levels that it shouldn’t have. But eventually, after I dated a guy my sophomore year of college who was touring with his band and ended up hurting him in the process, I got over it. (I still regret that to this day.) After many mistakes, leaving that college, and moving back home, I became a nanny. I became a nanny to the most beautiful 5-year old boy- Lorenzo. Lorenzo and I became “liaahhkk peas ‘n carrots.”

The second summer I was his nanny, I moved in with them. (Lorenzo’s mother and I became very close, and although we have naturally grown apart, I look back at those couple of years and realize how incredible of a friendship and sisterhood we had with each other. Being a live-in nanny is extremely intimate, and co-parenting Lorenzo with his mom was a true joy and incredible experience.) ANYWAYS, I always seem to get into random tangents. Apologies for that!

Back to the second summer. I was living with them. Lorenzo’s “Uncle Mike” came for a visit in July. When I saw him, I was immediately attracted to him. And it pretty much just started from there. He started flying me across the country to visit him, for he was a merchant marine and was stationed all over the place. I fell hard. Apparently he did too, but the few times I ever think about that time in my life, I doubt it more and more.

Thanksgiving came and I went to the Vineyard and spent it with the family. He broke up with me the day after Thanksgiving. On an island. No way to get out or away, and during a holiday that I had sacrificed time with my family to be with his. I rarely look back at this time, but if/when I do, I’m still taken aback by the amount of douchiness.

Although we were no longer “together” we still spent as much time together as we could. I’m not really sure why. I don’t remember the sense behind this, but it is what it is. Christmas came and went. He gave me a pair of winter boots. Thanks, I still wear them and they’re still in perfect condition.

And then came Valentine’s Day.

Now, we broke up, remember. But for some reason he was still calling, skyping, and texting me everyday while he was away, telling me he loved me, etc. All very confusing to a young 20 year-old. And then the lovely, always-disappointing holiday, Valentine’s Day came. And since he was vacationing in Costa Rica for a month, he decided to send me a pooka-shell necklace.

This is a 27-year-old man. Pooka-shells.

Think about.

And when I opened the package there was a wrinkled up piece of notebook paper that said something along the lines of:

“When I saw this, I thought of you. A native was making these and said it had some sort of meaning, but I can’t remember what it is now. Happy Valentine’s Day. Hope to see you soon.”

I called him and yelled some profanities at him, and then we basically hardly ever spoke ever again.

The End.

Three years later…

I’m here. And I’m alive. And I’ve never been happier.

I’ve learned gobs of lessons and have finally started to figure out how to implement any wisdom gained from those lessons to my life. (I think that’s the hardest part.) Although I’ve had some really shitty relationships, and the men that I’ve unfortunately been attracted to in the past have not be good men, are all a part of who I am today. God has turned every horrible, painful, and tear-filled experience into a beautiful lesson well-learned.

And I couldn’t be more grateful to Him for that.

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